Precipice
by loveisamess
Summary: UlquiHime, designed to be the beginning of a series of drabbles.
1. Precipice

This is _that_ moment.  
The one where you balance perilously on the edge, of what is unknown to you, but that you will fall is certain.

It is an awkward thing to explain.

It is the knowledge that your next act will be a judgement unto none but yourself.

This judgement has a sentence, one which you must carry out for the rest of your existence.  
Yes, it is one moment and it is fleeting.

It demands your decision to be made quickly.  
Yet how, how can something be decided upon so suddenly when the rest of your life must pay the consequences for your actions?

He disliked rushing. It entailed that one could not calculate, weigh the odds, and make a clear judgement.  
This shouldn't even be such a moment.  
It was clear what he was to do, it was not particularly difficult, nothing more than a basic chore.

The why was there hesitation?

Why was he even thinking about it?

It was _her_. He could not see her but he knew what she was doing. She was standing there, in her torn white gown, grasping at the skirt. She was not crying, she wouldn't, but he could feel her despair.

It disgusted him.  
It made him consider...

There were consequences...

_Disgusting_

He turned.

He left the orange haired shinigami broken and bleeding on the sands.  
He turned and in this he had chosen where he was to fall.  
If he was to land...

No, that was yet to be determined.


	2. Letter

The beginnings of love are always fun.

Everything is exciting, you are forever curious, and your heart beats to its own unique song.  
Except this time the song is so fast and so loud it feels like your heart may parade right out of your chest and give itself away.

Wait, no, that's silly. In actual fact, by the time your heart carries on in such ways, it's already half gone.  
And of course you're scared, what if they don't accept your heart? What if they find its song to be out of tune?  
The beginnings of love are fun, but torturous.

Not knowing how the other feels, being worried that anything you say or do could ruin the fragile groundwork which can bring two hearts together.

Well I _used_ to think that. Now I know not all beginnings of love are joyous occasions. I can't even place where mine for you began. My heart did beat; oh it beat rather quickly, but from fear. First because of a strange situation, then from what I knew you could (and what you did) do to my friends, and finally for you. That must be where my love began, between the fear of what you could do and the fear of what could happen to you.

You were not my envisioned prince. You are not heroic, you have such little warmth, and you care for none. That's what I thought at first, which was the real beginning. Not a very good one, but I guess all stories must have a beginning, ours is just more interesting. I now know that your actions can be beyond heroic. Your warmth can reach me even when I think I will forever be cold. You care for me more than I could ever realize.

If a normal love is torturous I don't think there is a word to describe ours. Perhaps there is, but I would bet a great deal I would rather not know what that word is. It is hard to be worried about whether or not another heart will accept yours, but imagine trying to give your heart to someone who questions its very existence. That was rather difficult and the fact that you're incredibly stubborn doesn't help very much. When I threw myself and my shield in front of you, I didn't know what I was doing. I knew I was protecting you of course (the why was very unclear at the time), but I couldn't have imagined that my action had begun the rebuilding process of the most vital organ.

Our love is strange, but it is strong. It was strong enough to pull two beings from the polar opposites of the universe and fuse them together. It was also strong enough to weather wars and a great deal of opposition (a great great GREAT deal). It is still makes my heart beat its favourite tune, and it will continue to do so always.

------------------------------------------------

Orihime smiled as she finished the letter. She sealed it and placed it with the cake she knew Ulquiorra would choke down just to please her, and his face would never give away his stomach's brave battle. Ten years already, she sighed, and then her smile grew.

Anniversaries are always fun.


	3. No

_No_,

She felt numb, so numb, as the ash danced away from her.

She had just felt his fingertips and then...

_No_

"Inoue..."

She stared at her hands, some flecks of the ash still remained but he, he was gone.  
The tears rolled down her cheeks. She had tried to reach him but she couldn't compete with the wind, the wind that had carried him away from her.

"Inoue..."

Orihime jumped as she felt a hand land on her shoulder.  
"Ah Kurosaki-kun sorry I was just..." her words trailed off as she turned to face her friend when she noticed Ishida still bleeding on the ground. She turned past Ichigo and ran to her fallen friend.  
"Soten Kissun, I reject. Sorry, I was..."

"It's okay Inoue-san." Ishida smiled weakly at her from inside the barrier which healed him, "I understand, it must have been very shocking for you."

...Yes shocking, because he was gone. He was so strong but he was gone and it had been her fault. She called for help, and the help came. Help came, and then he was gone. More tears rolled down her cheeks

_Gone  
Gone  
Gone  
Gone_

Orihime was torn from her thoughts as a tremendous spiritual power reached them where they stood on the dome.

"What was that?!" Ichigo exclaimed as the dome shook  
"I don't know, but everyone else is down there." Ishida answered as he stood up, his wounds being fully healed. "Its riatsu is even greater than that of Ulquiorra."  
Orihime flinched as she heard his name.

"We need to get down there and help them! Let's go." Ichigo said as he reached for Orihime to carry her down to where Rukia, Renji and Chad were fighting some unknown force.

"You two go on without me." Orihime said softly as she pulled out of Ichigo's reach.

"Inoue you can't stay here we need to go help them"

_  
_"Its okay Kurosaki-kun, I just need a few moments to myself and then I'll be down I promise."

"Inoue-san, Ichigo is right you can't stay here. How would you even get down?" Ishida asked in a worried tone.

"Jump of course" Orihime laughed at their shocked expressions. "No need to worry I can use my shield to protect me as I fall. I just...I just need to say good-bye."

Ishida and Ichigo looked at her. They couldn't quite understand her need to say good bye to a man they had only known as a cold and calculating monster, the one who had taken her. But still... neither of them could forget the way that he had reached out for her in his last moments, the way she had reached back for him...

As they left Ichigo called to his friend whom had already gone back to staring at the spot where that man had faded away,  
"I'm sorry Inoue-san." His voice was strained, crushed by a strong guilt and the knowledge that something so merciless could be a part of him. He heard her laugh in her cheerful manner.

"Don't worry about such things Kurosaki-kun, you have nothing to feel sorry about. No conscious part of you existed during that time. Now quickly go and help the others, I promise I'll be there soon."

There was a small pause and then Ishida and Ichigo left to go and help their friends.

"No it's not your fault." Orihime's voice was softer now; it broke when she spoke next, "I'm the one to blame."

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Why did it hurt so much? She thought to herself as she kneeled in the spot where he had stood while turning to ash. Why had she been so desperate to reach for his hand? He was the one who had taken her from her friends wasn't he? He was the one who had harmed Kurosaki-kun over and over. He was the one who gave permission for her own life to be taken! He was...HE! He never once harmed her. He said that he wouldn't and he never did. In his way, he had taken care of her while being in Hueco Mundo. He had come for her when Grimmjow had taken her, though it really was his job... She wasn't afraid of him. He was a curious being; he didn't even know what a heart was! She smiled. He was so intelligent, so clever, but he couldn't understand the concept of something she lived with day to day. He was starting to, yes he was definitely starting to, and he reached out for her... and then he was gone...

_He didn't have to be gone._ A small voice sounded within her. _You can heal anything, even when there aren't any pieces of the original left._ Her tears finally stopped. She had never felt like this before. She stood up and gritted her teeth. No, she had definitely never felt this sure of her own abilities before,  
"Soten Kissun! I REJECT!"  
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Why am I here woman?" Ulquiorra spoke, his head in Orihime's lap.

"Hmmm... well you see Ulquiorra-kun, it took you a while to wake up and I felt that lying down on the ground wouldn't be very comfortable. I'm afraid my lap was the only option. Also, I have a name you know? It's Orihime."

"That's not what I meant woman, and I am well aware you have a name." Ulquiorra stared at her blankly. Or that's how it would seem to anyone who looked upon the scene, in actuality inside of Ulquiorra there was great turmoil. At once he felt so many of those emotions that were once thought distasteful, and really he didn't mind how he was situated. "What I meant was why am I alive? I shouldn't be. I lost. The only thing left for me was death."

Orihime smiled, she had figured he would say something like this, "You know before I left someone gave me some very good advice." Ulquiorra closed his eyes and sighed, she was going to go on one of her tangents and he would not get the answer that he so desperately needed. "Hey you don't need to sigh; I said it was good advice! They told me 'what's important is not how it should be, but rather how I want it to be'. What I want is for you to be alive, Ulquiorra"

Ulquiorra was as startled by this as by the beaming smile he was greeted with when he opened his eyes. His chest almost hurt and he really couldn't put a name to this emotion.  
"Foolish woman how could you want—"He was cut off by what sounded like an explosion coming from far below.

"Kurosaki-kun." Orihime muttered as she looked towards the edge of the dome. An even more painful emotion grew within him, and he could guess what this one was called, since it was coupled with hate for that damn Shinigami boy.

"I do not see why you need me to be alive, woman. You have somebody else for five lifetimes I believe." He regretted these words as soon as he spoke them, the meaning behind them were not hidden anywhere near as well it should have been. The feelings which crowded his chest were within every word. Orihime looked down at the man in her lap curiously for a moment, and then focused out to the forever black night of Hueco Mundo.

"How long have I been here? How long have I been in the world of hollows?"  
She had ignored his previous statement. Instead of being relieved because her ignorance, it gave him an odd pain. He sighed again, "Not very long, not even by human standards."

She shook her head and smiled "Hmm you're wrong Ulquiorra, I've been here for many lifetimes."


End file.
